Magic: The Gathering Forum Lübeck

5) Altered Magic Cards

I don’t paint flames on the side of my car, and I don’t paint my Magic cards. Keep your fan art in your notebook or on your wall please, I don’t need to be trying to figure out mid-game whether Bart Simpson is making out with Emma Watson on a Savannah or a Taiga.

“But Matt, it’s just for fun; they’re my cards, right?” That kind of logic is how you end up with a tattoo on your face. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. It’s interesting that no one I respect as a player or human being collects altered cards (to my knowledge) or has a face tattoo. I’ve self-selected to avoid these cretins. If we can’t agree on complete abolition, we should at least settle on a mandatory 36-hour waiting period before getting any dual lands or Jaces altered.

Thanks for reading this thought out and meticulously well-constructed article about Magic. Tune in next month when I’ll discuss, among other critically important topics, how annoying it is when an opponent bends all the corners of your sleeves because they shuffle like a caveman trying to make a spark with two rocks.

-Matt Sperling